National Adoption Day

Happy National Adoption Day! 

Today is a day to celebrate Adoption! This thing that has become the biggest part of my life recently. Adoption is not all rainbows and sunshine. Is consists of loss for one set of parents and happiness for the new set. It's something that will have an effect on my daughter for the rest of her life. I am absolutely dreading the day when I hear those words "You're not my real mom!" Cause I know they'll happen one day. 

But when this sweet child looks into my eyes and smiles and reaches for me, she sees no color, she doesn't see someone who's not her biological mom. She sees her mama. That's love. I am the lucky one that will get to be called mama! Adoption did this for me. For 4 years I've longed to be called mama. I've dreamt of this life and always wondered what it would be like. Never did I imagine it would happen this way, but boy I am so grateful it did. This little girl is the most perfect child for John and I. 

Now it's not perfect everyday. In fact no day is perfect because my husbands not home with us. John left the day she came home from the hospital, he left for pre deployment training for the next 4.5 months. Then would deploy right after that. He won't be home until Jayde is almost one. That is what makes everyday not perfect, not having him here to enjoy this life we've dreamt of for so long. But we live for FaceTime calls, and he melts at the fact that she said Da-Da (her first word) right to him. This little girl has stolen his heart. 

Now I know this post is so all over the place, but that's my life. So much going on all at once. I wouldn't have it any other way (besides this stupid deployment). I cannot wait for our adoption ceremony to seal the deal and have her officially be Evalina Jayde Ward. Now I will not ever label myself as an Adoptive mom, because I'm just simply a mom. But I will ALWAYS be proud to have Jayde as our daughter and I'll always be thankful for adoption. I now know what it's like to have my heart outside my body. 

These two are my whole world.