9 months with Jayde.

"And to be a mother is to finally understand that love that people talk about, that soul-crushing, all-encompassing love for your child that nothing could prepare you for and nothing compares to." 

It's amazing to me that Jayde has been in my life for 9 months as of tomorrow! 9 months and 6 days ago it was just a normal day for me, wishing I could be a mommy. Not knowing if that day would ever come. Little did I know that 5 days later I'd get the call about a little baby who needed a home. Now that little baby is crawling and almost walking, and her life has flashed before my eyes. My heart is outside my body and every day is a new adventure with her. She's the most amazing little girl I've ever met, and I am so incredibly lucky I get to be her mommy! 

When I think back, I remember how long 9 months of trying to become a mommy felt. It was never ending, and it went so slow in my eyes! Now here as a mommy, 9 months have flown in a blink of an eye. There's no way I could ever describe just how much I have not only loved being a mom, but being a mom to Jayde! She couldn't be more perfect for me. She's made me grow so much as a person! It's not always rainbows and sunshine, there's days where I wonder if I'm giving her enough. Or wonder if I'm doing enough for her! There's days where I'm so exhausted I don't know how I'll push through. There's nights where I feel guilty for enjoying my "me" time! But in those rare moments where I walk into her room after nap and I see her cute little face light up when she sees me, and I know that I'm hers. I feel so overwhelmed by her love sometimes because I don't feel worthy of such a perfect little human. 

She's got 4 (yes FOUR) teeth now! They all came in within a month! She's got her next check up next week (shell get her shots then! :( ) She's standing up on everything and climbing everywhere! She's learning something new everyday. She's eating more food and branching out to foods that mommy doesn't like. It's incredible for me to watch her figure things out, you can see by her facial expressions how it'll just click in her head. I can't describe the love I have for her but I'll spend forever showing her. She is and always will be my baby. 

Evalina Jayde.